This week pool boy Juan
from Thailand crafts a serviceable vagina from a succulent fruit
of the gourd family!
Kevin from Washington writes:
Dear Juan from Thailand,
I am a young man living in eastern Washington, where there doesn’t
seem to be a woman for fifty miles! All I have out here are cows,
my hand, and my father’s watermelon plantation. Recently
I decided to become a raw food vegetarian in order to cleanse
my colon of the putrefying effects of eating emasculated cooked
foods and inhaling pesticides. As such, I’ve given up fucking
animals. Do you know of any way I can craft a serviceable vagina
from a watermelon, and if so, how would I go about making it with
Sincerely, Kevin Trout
You are writing to right person! There is nothing as easy, and
as satisfying, than giving it to gourd on hot summer day! So refreshing,
so pleasurable, and so hard to get those seeds out of urethra!
But never mind, let us begin!
|STEP ONE: Find watermelon!
I prefer petite melon, 5 to 7 kilogram (that is 12 or 15 of
your American style pound), but if you like big booty like
in black man music video, maybe 15 kilogram watermelon might
do you better. The rest is very easy. All you need to do is
make hole with knife where you will put inside penis. Making
it a little smaller than actual size of penis will increase
||STEP TWO: Now you have
to have the foreplay with the melon to get it ready for the
intercourse. You must not jump into it with the penis, but
instead make melon start to want you by stroking the slick
skin and licking nice around hole until some of the sweet
juice come down. Maybe try to nibble some seeds out of melon,
because sometimes problem with seeds during intercourse.
|STEP THREE: If your first
time, you want to start with you on top, holding yourself
up with your arm, and enjoy all-time classic position Missionary
Style. Thrust gently, and slowly increase rhythm until you
||STEP FOUR: Versatile is
melon, and you might make it with melon like doggy style.
It is good exercise for your upper back and tricep too! You
must only to be careful to “bend at knees, make with
melon at ease."
|STEP FIVE: Maybe if you
lazy on hot summer day, you make melon ride you! Roll on your
back and position melon over penis and make it move up and
down by moving melon up and down.
||STEP SIX: Other activities
might include self pleasuring self while you perform meloningus--and
syrupy pulp produced by thrusting make for thirst-quenching
break during routine!
|STEP SEVEN: After you finished
exploring melon for the day and when you feeling famished
and parched, sliced that bitch in two!
||STEP EIGHT: And for you
raw food vegetarian Kevin, bask in glow of sexual satisfaction
and enjoy a taste and healthy snack!
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