"Clarence was such a good boy," his mother said. "But the world just beat him down. He tried to live away from home after his college, but the job market was bad and the jobs he’d get washing dishes could barely keep him alive, so he came back to live with us.”

Over the 32 years of his life, Clarence spent approximately 31 years and nine months living with his parents, and the past 35 days reinstated safely in his mother’s womb.

“I think he’s much happier back in the womb. Lately the tiniest things had been setting him off—alarm clocks, sunlight, air. He sometimes wouldn't leave our bed, the poor thing, to even use the bathroom."

Exactly whose idea it was to have Clarence relocate back into his mother’s womb at such a late age, Pearl is not saying, but not everyone in the Buckhalter household is happy about the move.

Husband Jeremiah Buckhalter occasionally addresses his wife’s swollen midsection: “Why don’t you get your lazy ass out of that womb and get a job instead of floating around all day passively ingesting the amniotic nutrients I work hard to pay for?” Buckhalter senior’s dissatisfaction with his son’s apathy is not the only problem.

“The lazy bastard also has the audacity to tell me to keep the noise down when I’m making love with my wife,” Jeremiah said. “I can hear his muffled voice coming from Pearl’s gut whining, ‘Stop it, dad, I’m trying to sleep.’”

Pearl says that if Jeremiah remembered to take a decongestant before making love to silence his grunting and wheezing that probably the family could live in peace. However, Jeremiah is standing firm on his style of lovemaking and says he’s not about to alter it because of some upstart son who is too lazy to even lay on the couch like everyone else.

“What was so hard about his life? It was a utopia! He lay on our couch eating chips and watching cartoons for most of it, and, for some reason, that was too hard to deal with?”

Despite being dissatisfied with the current state of affairs, Jeremiah said that his first “unborn” did interrupt an unplanned pregnancy last week. “Pearl and I are pretty careful about those things, but last month we got careless. Luckily the other day Clarence yelled that there was an embryo up in there starting to grow, so we had him squash it for us.”

Sonograms confirmed that an adult male form, about 5 feet 6 inches, is hanging out in a fetal position within Buckhalter’s corpulent form.