| Police
Investigate Bizarre Bernie-Mac-Tattoo-Related Suicide
TEMPE, AZ-Police are investigating a possible suicide that occurred
Tuesday night in an Arizona State campus apartment. Police said
Michelle Johnson, 22, hanged herself from the rafters of her bedroom
with a thick rope.
Roommates Tatum Cunningham, 21, and Bailey Downey, 21, discovered
Johnson’s body early Thursday morning when they arrived
home from a party and entered Johnson’s room to search for
cigarettes. Although police at present are not releasing the details
of Johnson’s suicide note, roommate Downey, who claims to
have read the note, told reporters it included an odd reference
to actor and comedian Bernie Mac.
“It
said something about not being able to live with Bernie Mac. That
made me suspicious of foul play right away. I’m a Crim.
J major, you know.”
Cunningham and Downey said that Johnson had been suffering from
depression over the loss of her lover, Clyde Barker, who stopped
seeing Johnson last month for “personal” reasons.
Downey said that she heard rumors Barker left Johnson because
of her eclectic tattoos of major Hollywood actors such as Kevin
Costner and Nick Nolte. She said she was not aware of a new, lower-back
tattoo of comedian and actor Bernie Mac.
“I don’t think she would have killed herself 'cause
of a tat of Bernie Mac, if that’s what we’re to infer
from the note. I think it must be foul play,” Downey said.
Cunningham agreed. “Michelle was a super original person--you
could tell by her tattoos. I mean, who would have the guts to
get a huge tattoo of Nick Nolte on her lower back? She's a strong,
independent spirit--not one who would off herself for a guy like
Barker or Bernie Mac. It must have been a ritualized murder by
Satanists.”
Although police are not taking the aspiring detectives Downey
and Cunningham seriously and still consider the death to be a
suicide, they would like to know more about the Bernie Mac tattoo.
“What’s a 21-year-old white girl doing with a tattoo
like that on her back,” asked Tempe detective Raymond Schmidt.
“I’m sure that Mr. Mac can get a bunch of them high-powered
Hollywood lawyers to get out of this one like that OJ Simpson,
so there’s not much we can do, but it just don’t seem
right to me.”
|
Society and Culture
Campbell’s
“Man Chowder” Recalled Minutes before
Shipped out to Supermarkets
Is
Porn Worse Than Crack? Pumpster's "Quote,
Unquote" with the Senate testimony of Mary Anne Layden!
Space
Aliens Send Invasion Armada to Washington Because
Of Pioneer 10 Porn
“Plumber’s
Butt” Hit Fashion Statement with Young Women,
Plumbers Rejoice Worldwide
Camel
Toes Become Fashionable in Alabama, Iowa, Georgia
Adult Entertainment
"Lady
Chatterley’s Lover” Boring, Claims
Employee of Fistinglessons.com
38-Year-Old
Man Realizes Term “MILF” No Longer
Relevant
Judge
Accused of Masturbating Resigns To Pursue Career
in Porn
Man
Feels Friend’s Budding Interest in “Chicks
with Dicks” a Homosexual Facade
Blind Date’s
Failure Blam
Human Interest
Woman Admits Life-Sized
Kevin Costner Tattoo Not Such a Well Thought-Out
Idea
Tattoo
Artist Pretty Sure Woman Said ‘Nick Nolte,’
Not ‘Dolphin’
Police
Investigate Bizarre Bernie-Mac-Tattoo-Related Suicide
Woman
Fears Boyfriend Preparing To Write Screenplay
Man Fears Girlfriend
Preparing To Become a Witch
Business
Porn Actor Pursues Dream of Opening Porn-Themed
Eatery
Failed
Restaurateur Now Realizes Why Nine Out of Ten New
Restaurants Fail
Special
Real products,
real photos, real odd!
Swedish Coffee Company Gevalia
Kaffee Releases Controversial New "Special
Offer"
Read the Pumpster X-Tips--fun
for the whole family!
The Executive Ass Man
This
week The Executive Ass Man replies to Paul from Milwaukee: “Will
I get poopy on my dick?”
This week
The Executive Ass Man replies to John from Topeka: "Will
eating ass make me sick?"
Science
Butt-Sniffing
Dogs Searching For Snacks, Not Information
Psychoanalysts
Debate the Interpretation of Matrix-Inspired Dreams
Ten Minutes
to Orgasm: The Day the Internet Went Down
Huge
Tits Nothing But “Big Balls of Nasty Fat,”
Claims Scientist
Huge Monster
Cock Nothing but a “Blood-Engorged Flesh
Sock,” Claims Scientist
Editorial
Yin,
Yang, and Joni, Men’s Empathy is Baloney
Boy,
am I sure glad I didn't assassinate President Bush!
If I
Don’t Have A Few Brats Quick, My Beer Drinking
Is Going To Suffer! By StickyD
|