Real products, real photos, real real!
Kleenex brand Velutess toilet tissue is so soft it’s like
wiping your ass with a little puppy! And armed with “The
Strength of Softness,” you can be rest assured that much
like the durable fur of a puppy, which might take the rigors of
wiping for months (until the puppy grew large enough to take a
good bite out of your ass to put an end to your ass-wiping antics)
this toilet paper will too! So keep your groin safe and avoid
the scanning eye of the SPCA by procuring some Kleenex brand Velutess!*
*Kleenex does not endorse wiping your
ass with any living creature.
new Snehulky candies will finally coat your bored palate with
the refreshing taste of snehulky! Whenever you feel like the exciting
taste of snehulky, reach for a Snehulky. Made with real snehulky
extract, they’re sure to please when you’re in the
need to get some snehulky in your mouth! Rush out and pick up
a few bags today!
it’s not magic nor is it connected to the Disney soon-to-be-classic
“Finding Nemo,” then it’s probably not Fileni’s
new Magic Hot Dog! Although these breaded hot dogs on a stick
are not really supernatural, they are packaged alongside a cartoon
picture of a clown fish so kids are sure to be kept from piercing
through the veil of marketing unreality just a little while longer!
(Includes packet of yellow mustard to increase level of enchantment.)
taste buds will never be the same after you sink into your first
bite of new “everything” flavored Bake Bars! Even
if the flavor of “everything” appears taste like flour
and salt, you will be contented to know that with every mouthwatering
mouthful you taste the taste of everything in the world with every
Society and Culture
“Man Chowder” Recalled Minutes before
Shipped out to Supermarkets
Porn Worse Than Crack? Pumpster's "Quote,
Unquote" with the Senate testimony of Mary Anne Layden!
Aliens Send Invasion Armada to Washington Because
Of Pioneer 10 Porn
Butt” Hit Fashion Statement with Young Women,
Plumbers Rejoice Worldwide
Toes Become Fashionable in Alabama, Iowa, Georgia
Chatterley’s Lover” Boring, Claims
Employee of Fistinglessons.com
Man Realizes Term “MILF” No Longer
Accused of Masturbating Resigns To Pursue Career
Feels Friend’s Budding Interest in “Chicks
with Dicks” a Homosexual Facade
Woman Admits Life-Sized
Kevin Costner Tattoo Not Such a Well Thought-Out
Artist Pretty Sure Woman Said ‘Nick Nolte,’
Investigate Bizarre Bernie-Mac-Tattoo-Related Suicide
Fears Boyfriend Preparing To Write Screenplay
Man Fears Girlfriend
Preparing To Become a Witch
Porn Actor Pursues Dream of Opening Porn-Themed
Restaurateur Now Realizes Why Nine Out of Ten New
real photos, real odd!
Swedish Coffee Company Gevalia
Kaffee Releases Controversial New "Special
Read the Pumpster X-Tips--fun
for the whole family!
The Executive Ass Man
week The Executive Ass Man replies to Paul from Milwaukee: “Will
I get poopy on my dick?”
The Executive Ass Man replies to John from Topeka: "Will
eating ass make me sick?"
Dogs Searching For Snacks, Not Information
Debate the Interpretation of Matrix-Inspired Dreams
to Orgasm: The Day the Internet Went Down
Tits Nothing But “Big Balls of Nasty Fat,”
Cock Nothing but a “Blood-Engorged Flesh
Sock,” Claims Scientist
Yang, and Joni, Men’s Empathy is Baloney
am I sure glad I didn't assassinate President Bush!
Don’t Have A Few Brats Quick, My Beer Drinking
Is Going To Suffer! By StickyD