OKLAHOMA CITY, Okla.—An Oklahoma judge, who was charged with using a penis pump to increase the strength and size of his erection, announced that he would retire from the bench to pursue a career in pornography.

Creek County District Judge Donald Thompson, 57, wrote to Oklahoma Gov. Brad Henry that his resignation will be effective Sept. 1. He said that this will allow him to retire with a full pension and pursue an alternative career some feel has been opened to him because of his relentless use of the penis-enhancing device while working.

“If I used one of them damn penis pumps all day long while I was working, I’d have one of them monster cocks and could break into porn, too,” a court bailiff, who asked to remain anonymous, said. The bailiff added that it was unfair that the judge’s robe and large desk protected him all those years from the prying eye of Joe Public while he, having to stand in front of the bench, would have been spotted immediately had he decided to engage in the same penis-enhancing activity.

“See, them rich guys, they get all the breaks, while I barely pay the bills and have never heard anyone call me ‘tripod,’” the bailiff said.

A former state representative and a judge for 22 years, Thompson was accused by state Attorney General Drew Edmondson of using a "penis pump" during trials.

“Obviously Edmondson is jealous of my club,” Thompson told reporters. “With my 14-inch cock I can now penetrate deeper so my partners will experience more pleasure, as well as multiple orgasms during sexual intercourse.”

Edmondson declined to comment.

"I have greatly enjoyed my public service and offer my gratitude for the public trust reposed in me during the terms I served," Thompson said. “But I now must answer a greater calling and pursue my life-long dream of becoming a star in pornographic moving pictures.”

Although Thompson, who is nearly 60 years old, is decades older than anyone working in the adult film business, some producers have shown interest in having Thompson audition because of his notorious rise. Sam Reynolds, president of Feel Pain Pictures, has openly discussed pairing Thompson with John Wayne Bobbit, whose wife Lorena cut off hit penis with a kitchen knife, in a new video sequel to John Wayne Bobbit, Uncut.

“It would be a courtroom parody, with that bitch Loretta or Lori, whatever her name was, whining about the abuse she suffered, and then end up with Judge Gigantic, played by Thompson, doling out his wild-west form of justice—fucking her so hard with his Monster Member of the Jury that she becomes a deaf mute. Or something like that.