PULLMAN, WA—Janet Watson, 28, a Professor of Geology at Washington State University (WSU), told 300 students in her Geology 101 class that women with large breasts have nothing but “big balls of nasty fat hanging from their chests” and that man’s desire for large-breasted women is caused by an unconscious notion that large mammary glands will produce more milk for their offspring.

“You think you want those huge fucking tits to play with during your dirty little games after the keg party. You think you want to slide your dicks between them and fuck them. You think you want to slurp and sleep on those fatty pillows,” Watson said. “But really, you’re all misled by an unconscious falsity that makes you think larger breasts produce more milk, more milk for your pathetic, big-tit loving offspring.”

Watson explained that some parts of the breast are filled with connective tissue but that fat surrounds the whole system of milk ducts and glands. She was adamant in her assertion that the larger and softer the breast is, the higher its fat content, “like a huge, nasty, zitty, hairy, pockmarked fat ass.”

“The breast does not have any muscles, except for tiny ones in the nipples, and is only supported by ligaments, ligaments that stretch over time, causing the so-called ‘pleasure pillows’ to droop and sag. But my breasts will never succumb to such a fate,” Watson said, and then removed her shirt to reveal what were described by one unnamed student as “very small, acorn-sized tits.”

“And my glands will produce as much milk as that big-titted whore’s fat casks,” Watson said, referring to Jennifer Gleason, 19, a sophomore studying Theology. It was recently revealed to Watson that her husband Gregory, 53, a tenured Professor of Theology at WSU, was having an affair with Gleason.

An impromptu experiment turned into what was described as a “gang bang” when Janet Watson invited male students who had never experienced a small-breasted woman to come to the front of the class and take her.

“It was like watching army ants devour a cow,” said Leslie Miller, 19, a student in the Geology 101 class. “I bet something like 200 guys were fucking her at the same time. It was insane, but at least now I feel much more confident about my smallish tits.”