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Pumpster Productions, in cooperation
with Digital Media Corporation and Excelsior
Modeling Agency, proudly present Pumpster’s
BANNER VS BANNER
This week: some fucking whiners from makefairtrade.com
You ever stop to wonder how
much a cappuccino costs in Guatemala? Well, neither
did we, but sources say that you can get a a hot meal with beans,
rice, stewed meat, and fresh homemade tortillas for under 50
cents or a street blow job from a butt-ugly
transvestite for well under $5.
On the other hand, an underprivileged real estate agent
will receive a measly $10,000 for selling a million dollar
home using the same price ratio. That guy’s sure to pay
$7 for a taco-shack lunch of similar quality and well under $5
for a street blow job from a butt-ugly transvestite.
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Society and Culture
Campbell’s
“Man Chowder” Recalled Minutes before
Shipped out to Supermarkets
Is
Porn Worse Than Crack? Pumpster's "Quote,
Unquote" with the Senate testimony of Mary Anne Layden!
Space
Aliens Send Invasion Armada to Washington Because
Of Pioneer 10 Porn
“Plumber’s
Butt” Hit Fashion Statement with Young Women,
Plumbers Rejoice Worldwide
Camel
Toes Become Fashionable in Alabama, Iowa, Georgia
Adult Entertainment
"Lady
Chatterley’s Lover” Boring, Claims
Employee of Fistinglessons.com
38-Year-Old
Man Realizes Term “MILF” No Longer
Relevant
Judge
Accused of Masturbating Resigns To Pursue Career
in Porn
Man
Feels Friend’s Budding Interest in “Chicks
with Dicks” a Homosexual Facade
Blind Date’s
Failure Blam
Human Interest
Woman Admits Life-Sized
Kevin Costner Tattoo Not Such a Well Thought-Out
Idea
Tattoo
Artist Pretty Sure Woman Said ‘Nick Nolte,’
Not ‘Dolphin’
Police
Investigate Bizarre Bernie-Mac-Tattoo-Related Suicide
Woman
Fears Boyfriend Preparing To Write Screenplay
Man Fears Girlfriend
Preparing To Become a Witch
Business
Porn Actor Pursues Dream of Opening Porn-Themed
Eatery
Failed
Restaurateur Now Realizes Why Nine Out of Ten New
Restaurants Fail
Special
Real products,
real photos, real odd!
Swedish Coffee Company Gevalia
Kaffee Releases Controversial New "Special
Offer"
Read the Pumpster X-Tips--fun
for the whole family!
The Executive Ass Man
This
week The Executive Ass Man replies to Paul from Milwaukee: “Will
I get poopy on my dick?”
This week
The Executive Ass Man replies to John from Topeka: "Will
eating ass make me sick?"
Science
Butt-Sniffing
Dogs Searching For Snacks, Not Information
Psychoanalysts
Debate the Interpretation of Matrix-Inspired Dreams
Ten Minutes
to Orgasm: The Day the Internet Went Down
Huge
Tits Nothing But “Big Balls of Nasty Fat,”
Claims Scientist
Huge Monster
Cock Nothing but a “Blood-Engorged Flesh
Sock,” Claims Scientist
Editorial
Yin,
Yang, and Joni, Men’s Empathy is Baloney
Boy,
am I sure glad I didn't assassinate President Bush!
If I
Don’t Have A Few Brats Quick, My Beer Drinking
Is Going To Suffer! By StickyD
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