Local Naked Drunk Guy Begins Diet After Viewing New Year’s
Pics
PULLMAN, WA—Dean Reeves, 41, also known as “naked
drunk guy” by students at Washington State University (WSU),
said he was horrified when he saw how corpulent he had become
in his middle age. Reeves was referring to the photographs from
the New Year’s celebration at The Coug, a bar on Greek row
frequented by students, and Reeves.
“I’d never been so embarrassed in all my life,”
Reeves said. “To see how fat I’d let myself get, it
was unbelievable.”
 Reeves,
who almost graduated from WSU in 1985, has been a campus icon
for over two decades. The photos, he said, really put that last
twenty years of his life in perspective. “I’d always
told myself that I’d never get fat and that I’d always
have respect for my body, but it happened.” He also mentioned
that his present physical state explained additional dilemmas.
“I used to get a lot of chicks, and it was one of the reasons
I continued to live on campus after the divorce, but over the
last ten years that sort of thing hasn’t happened much,
and I guess I know why—my metabolism slowed down.”
Reeves, who works for a second hand store repairing broken donated
goods, says he feels pathetic to have been frequenting bars in
such grotesque shape. “If I would have known, I would have
taken action long ago, but the van only has a rearview mirror,
and the bathroom at Goodwill doesn’t have one.” Regardless,
he’s upbeat about the situation. “Those pics really
made me see how pathetic I’d become, and they’re going
to be the catalyst that will change my life forever. I’m
only about forty pounds overweight, anyway.”
Other people weren’t as concerned with Reeve’s weight
on New Year’s as they were with his nudity and attempts
to pick up students half his age. “That guy is a total alcoholic
loser,” Katie Adams, a sophomore who was at The Coug on
New Year’s Eve, said. “There’s really no way
to explain how pathetic he is, especially when he starts slurring
on about how he ‘almost graduated Magna Cum Laude’
to some sorority girl.”
Reeves is hoping his path to physical fitness will inspire others
to get in shape. “What’s cool about it is that every
few weeks everyone will get to see how my body is changing for
the better. It will be an awesome experiment, sort of like that
website On the Wings of Fitness,” said Reeves, referring
to the online fitness contest, www.onthewingsoffitness.com,
where contestants post pictures of their progress.
Adams, however, doesn’t really care if Reeves gets in shape.
“I don’t want the drunk naked guy around me, even
if he's skinny. It’s gross.”
“Drunk naked guy rules,” said a fraternity member,
uttering sentiments held by the many male students who primarily
encourage Reeves. Most women, however, do not feel the same. “I
think the only reason he’s allowed to get naked is because
the university uses him as an example of what will happen if you
almost graduate,” Adams said.
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