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German Government Removes Words "Fahrt," "Assmann," From Language
Republicans Concerned about Bush’s Genitalia Platform
Terrorized Iraqi child.Bush Claims U.S. Invaded Iraq to Protect Children from Pornography
George W. BushCNN Ain't Got Nothing On Our
PUMPSTER EXIT POLL 2004!
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QuentinWoman Fears Boyfriend Preparing To Write Screenplay
Patriotic sports fan.Three Offensive Anti-Terrorist Procedures You Must Teach Your Children Today!
Spooky witch shit.Man Fears Girlfriend Is Preparing To Become a Witch
Mason's conspiracy.“Plumber’s Butt” Hit Fashion Statement with Young Women, Plumbers Rejoice Worldwide
Dollar bill pyramid.Man Who Feels Woman Really “Needs It up The Ass” Makes Erroneous Assumption
Behind bars.Inmates Again not persuaded by 21-Year-Old’s Argument against Anal Rape
Camel Toes Become Fashionable in Alabama, Iowa, Georgia
Soldiers Tell Military, ‘Bullets And Boobs’
Huge Tits Nothing But “Big Balls of Nasty Fat,” Claims Scientist
Huge Monster Cock Nothing but a “Blood-Engorged Flesh Sock,” Claims Scientist
Judge Accused of Masturbating Resigns To Pursue Career in Porn
Cherries Ripen, Brooks Burble, 40-Year-Old Fucks Infant to Death “All going as planned,” Sources Close to God Report
If God Wanted Gays, He Wouldn’t Have Invented Tight Pussies And Huge Tits, Claims Pope
Campbell’s “Man Chowder” Recalled Minutes before Shipped out to Supermarkets
California English Teacher Sues Bic over Anonymous Abuse
If I Don’t Have A Few Brats Quick, My Beer Drinking Is Going To Suffer! By StickyD
Man Feels Friend’s Budding Interest in “Chicks with Dicks” a Homosexual Facade
Morbidly Obese Mother Inserts Son, 32, Back Into Womb
Finally, an answer to the prayers of many a man--a hairy, pregnant, pissing, pirate-eye-patch wearing amateur!
Porn Actor Pursues Dream of Opening Porn-Themed Eatery
80-Year-Old Retiree Concludes America Should Produce More Belts, Suspenders for Youth
38-Year-Old Man Realizes Term “MILF” No Longer Relevant
Police Investigate Bizarre Bernie-Mac-Tattoo-Related Suicide
Swedish Coffee Company Gevalia Kaffee Releases Controversial New "Special Offer"
Boy, am I sure glad I didn't assassinate President Bush!
This week The Executive Ass Man replies to Paul from Milwaukee: “Will I get poopy on my dick?”
Failed Restaurateur Now Realizes Why Nine Out of Ten New Restaurants Fail

Psychoanalysts Debate the Interpretation of Matrix-Inspired Dreams

Look out Playboy, stand aside Maxim, the Pumpster Girls are here!
Butt-Sniffing Dogs Searching For Snacks, Not Information
Yin, Yang, and Joni, Men’s Empathy is Baloney
Vagina to Be Recalled By God
Check out the hot Christy Cream "budget pussy for the financially savvy" website!
Lady Chatterley’s Lover” Boring, Claims Employee of Fistinglessons.com
Real products, real photos, real odd!
Pop Artist Pink Travels Back in Time, Burned at Stake

Tattoo Artist Pretty Sure Woman Said ‘Nick Nolte,’ Not ‘Dolphin’

Woman Admits Life-Sized Kevin Costner Tattoo Not Such a Well Thought-Out Idea
NEA Asserts Canadian Lesbian Teaching Certification Not Meeting U.S. Standards
Pool Boy Juan from Thailand crafts a serviceable vagina from a succulent fruit of the gourd family!
Man Mainly Fucks Wife at Swingers’ Party
Blind Date’s Failure Blamed on Bulk Jar of Vaseline
Think you have a pic which can “beet” Knotty Leprechaun’s Air-Lingus? Give it your beestest, then!
Ten Minutes to Orgasm: The Day the Internet Went Down
This week The Executive Ass Man replies to John from Topeka: "Will eating ass make me sick?"
Read the Pumpster X-Tips--fun for the whole family!
Man's Right Hand Magical Vaginal Gateway
Teenager Discovers Online Girlfriend is Actually Grandfather